Showbits

Tomorrow is America's Thanksgiving Day, on which we as a nation declare that nothing brings a people together like the communal devouring of a dead animal's burnt flesh. As a vegetarian, I believe there are better ways to use 46 million birds this holiday season. If we must exploit the animal, why not use turkeys' mathematical properties to address such burning scientific issues as these?

Happy American Thanksgiving, everyone!

I've never seen 24, but I think its protagonist, Jack Bauer, is a cross between MacGyver, Chuck Norris, and Maxwell Smart, using whatever means are at his disposal to keep our country safe from terrorists. But what if Bauer and his team had existed 15 years ago — would they be nearly as effective with the technology of 1994?

Being a veteran of early online communities and a staunch supporter of the hardware that ran them, I can say with confidence that the above video is remarkably accurate. We may love to sugar-coat the past… but it sure is easier to get things done now!

What other shows do you think would require signficant revamping if transplanted to a modern context?

In August, RiffTrax brought their Mystery Science Theater 3000-style humor to the big screen with RiffTrax Live, in which their mercilessly mocking of Plan 9 From Outer Space was streamed to theaters nationwide. Unlike their webcasts, which often buckled under unexpected popularity, the theatrical experience was nearly flawless — and apparently a financial success, given their rerun of the same show (obviously no longer live) two months later.

Now, RiffTrax, with guest star Weird Al Yankovic, is getting into the spirit of the season with a reprise that puts various holiday specials under the scrutiny. RiffTrax Live Christmas Shorts will perform the evening of Wednesday, December 16th, with a recorded repeat the following night. Judging from the trailer, the lineup appears it may be a mix of both new material and old, such as the public domain short "A Visit to Santa":

I ordered my tickets at $11 each, which is pretty standard for a moviegoing experience nowadays. RiffTrax offers a better value for the money than any other film, though, as the two-hour showing sends you home with a code good for the download of a RiffTones holiday song, two of the evening's shorts, an autographed photo of the riffers, and a holiday desktop wallpaper.

So get into the holiday spirit with this family-friendly evening of comedy!

There are all sorts of ways to remix existing media: you can turn movie trailers into TV shows, or change a film's genre, or simply add a humorous audio commentary. All these require work and creativity. But what do you do if you have neither?

Why, you use the Benny Hillifier, of course!

Younger theatergoers may not know the name Benny Hill, but they'll recognize the tune and style of the show that ran on the BBC for twenty years. The Benny Hillifier applies that same theme to any YouTube video: just submit the URL, click "Go", and watch as it replaces the audio track of your chosen video with "Yakety Sax". The video can optionally be sped up to double-time, though the site states that "Speeding up is broken for now".

Fortunately, back when the site was fully functional, I slaved to find the best videos to Benny Hillify. Half the fun is seeing familiar media in a new context, so of course I turned to the vast library of Star Trek material. First, the new movie's trailer:

Notice the crashing car is a recurring theme between this video and the actual Benny Hill credits. Who knew the BBC had such a subtle but indeniable influence on Gene Roddenberry's universe?

What about Data? If any Star Trek character is inclined to unintentional humor, it's our white and nerdy android. Let's Benny Hillify a familiar clip:

This trick is applicable to other franchises, of course. The plot of The Matrix may be laughable, but the excellently choreographed fight scenes are not. So let's bring them down to a more consistent level:

What are your favorite clips to Benny Hillify? Or do you prefer the site's similar instant drama, instant tragedy, or all-purpose dubbing tools? Share your efforts here!

Hat tip to Bill Corbett!

This Friday, the sequel to the 2007 film Transformers will land. Based on my experience two years ago, I am confident in my decision to not support the new movie. It's not that the original was bad (though it was); it's that it deviated too significantly from my expectations. Lowering my expectations helped me enjoy the second Fantastic Four film more than the first, but in the case of Transformers, my expectations are fixed not in terms of quality, but of subject matter. I grew up on the Eighties cartoon (which is soon to be re-released on DVD) and consider it the quintessential version of giant, extraterrestrial, shape-shifting robots fighting each other in our own backyard. I respect that changes need be made when adapting this story to a new medium, but making it into an adolescent, anthropocentric comedy crossed the line.

I'm amazed that these movies are written by Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, who brought us not only the entertaining (but predictable) Mission:Impossible III, but more significantly, the recent reboot of Star Trek. How can the same team produce such divergent quality? But then, if my idea of a good movie is Orson Welles playing a toy, then maybe my perspective is skewed.

Regardless, I expect Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen to not be this summer's only disappointing film about robots. What if those two movies didn't just morph, but merged? Would they form… Transforminators?

Or maybe Transformers on its own already has more robotic characters than even we realize:

Though obviously a spoof, this concept isn't altogether foreign. The movie S1m0ne suggested something similar, in which the protagonist created a completely artificial actress whose performance indistinguishable from authentically wooden acting. Though the film was fictional, the recent 'Emily' image metrics demonstration showcases the ability to generate a computerized face from a real one.

Now if only they could make computerized computers that can change shape, act, and star in a critically successful film…

(Hat tip to Blake Patterson)

Contests are often made of Star Trek vs. Star Wars: could a phaser beat a lightsaber? The Enterprise outgun an Imperial Star Destroyer? But the rivalry seems to be less heated than friendly, as both franchises appeal to mostly the same audience.

Nonetheless, I'm aware that Showbits offers more coverage of Gene Roddenberry's universe than George Lucas's. So, in an effort to balance last week's variations on Star Trek openings, I've compiled a similar lineup of Star Wars parodies. These are potentially more amusing, as Star Wars, being a movie, not television, series has no "opening", per se, other than the trademark scrolling text … which doesn't really lend itself to remixing.

The Rebel Alliance goes up against the infinitely better equipped Empire. Who else often makes the best of minimal resources? MacGuyver, of course! (Compare with the original)

Star Wars lives up to its name with some memorable dogfights. Add some atmosphere, and you might get Airwolf (original):

And finally, like Star Trek, this series has also been remade to look like Dallas, rife with familial drama and intrigue (original):

This collection the question: what is it with all the 1980s TV show openings? Where are Buffy or Friends — or even Star Trek? Now that would be cool: Star Wars: Enterprise!

In less than a month, Star Trek will see a rebirth. Though initial impressions are positive, there are still fans worried about taking the franchise in a new direction. Change is bad, right?

In contrast, I've always found Star Trek to be limited in its scope. Why must science fiction be its own genre? Surely there's room for Star Trek to explore other styles, such as comedy or murder-mystery. How about Friends: Ten-Forward or CSI: Cardassia?

Some enterprising (heh) editors are of the same opinion and, as proof of concept, have remodeled Star Trek after their favorite hits from the past. What would Kirk and company look like if they composed The A-Team?

Need less action and a bit more intrigue? Then try Dallas:

Or, if you prefer something more light-hearted, how about Gilligan's Island?

If, after seeing all these alternatives, you're still a purist who believes Star Trek belongs firmly in the future, then let us at least return to 1969, the era in which it was launched:

(You can also view a side-by-side comparison of the Star Trek and 1969 openings.)

So, what do you think… is there room enough in the world of Star Trek for all these genres to get along?

(Hat tips to IT Blogwatch and Dayton Ward)

Aliens and Predator used to be renowned horror series, but their latest entries have devolved into uninspired action and camp. So it seems fitting that Sky TV of New Zealand has promoted their recent Alien vs. Predator marathon with these advertisements:

[Show as slideshow]

If only more galactic conflicts could be resolved so cerebrally. It may not make for great cinema, but it's a heckuva lot more relatable. For more love between these two extraterrestrial foes, check out the web comic Alien Loves Predator.

(Hat tip to Dayton Ward)