Showbits

How do I begin to describe the awful mess that is Neil Marhsall's Doomsday, the new move from Crystal Sky Pictures, starring British beauty Rhona Mitra (late of the absurd F/X late-night drama "Nip/Tuck")?

We start out watching a mish-mash of the plots from 28 Days Later and Resident Evil, as a beautiful government agent (Mitra) is sent to Scotland to seek the cure to the deadly Reaper virus. Scotland is now a walled-off wasteland of decaying urban set pieces and cast-offs from The Road Warrior. Pursued by ruthless punks replete with 80's-era leather and mohawks, Mitra and her team of commandos must reach Dr. Kane (Malcolm McDowell), the man believed to have developed a cure. How he managed to do so in a ransacked hospital in the midst of a collapsing society is never questioned. Of course, the doctor is nowhere to be found, and the commandos quickly get themselves captured. After a brief interlude including a scene featuring graphic cannibalism, Mitra escapes, and the chase is on.

At about the 80-minute mark, the movie violently and inexplicably changes gears into a medieval period piece: as our intrepid heroes flee from generic post-apocalyptic B-movie extras, they find themselves surrounded by… fifteenth century knights. If this turn of events doesn't make any sense here in this review, don't worry. Those of us in the theater were just as confused.

An hour and a half into the 105-minute "film", my fellow movie-goers revolted against Marshall's writing and direction. Smatterings of sarcastic laughter and snide comments began to break up the monotony, and I wondered if I wasn't witnessing the birth of a new cult phenomenon along the lines of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Would young goths and punks queue up at midnight to throw toast and yell out witty responses to McDowell's contrived dialogue twenty years from now?

I won't spoil the "surprise" ending for those you foolish enough not to heed my words and avoid this pap. Suffice it to say that the conclusion fits right in with what I'd come to expect from an hour and a half of baffling story and logic-free character development.

A mishmash of more movies and genres than I could name in such a short review as this, Doomsday tries to be many things at once and fails at almost all of them. The remaining stew of cliches and laughable "plot" points is unpalatable at any level.

Most comic book movies have been adaptations of concept rather than of story. What we've seen have not been translations plot-for-plot from one medium to another, but instead familiar characters and situations being used to invent new adventures for a new audience. Such is the case with the recent direct-to-DVD release Superman: Doomsday.

Despite being animated, this movie is not wholly based on the previous cartoon series, either. The voice cast is all-new, including Adam Baldwin, James Marsters, and Anne Heche. The animation style is slightly different — a bit darker and more detailed (the lines on Superman's face suggest an older, more pessimistic character; whereas Luthor looks leaner and younger). And the story's tone is markedly different from anything that's come before.

The movie's first half-hour is based on the 1993 landmark event: the death of Superman at the hands of the alien Doomsday. And the team responsible for this adaptation has done a fantastic job portraying that titular villain, for Doomsday as a mindless organic killing machine has been captured in all his animalistic and fearsome glory. In all his frenetic action sequences, I never once got the impression that he was angry or vengeful or in any other way emotional, but just a mindless automaton. The closest we get to expression is when Superman is the first to not fall to a single punch: Doomsday cocks his head, intrigued or confused as a dog might be — before quickly resuming the fight. Probably the most humanity exhibited in this entire sequence was by the audience at the fight's climax; Superman (particularly Christopher Reeve) is one of my heroes, and to see his death in any medium is distressing.

And that's an accurate word for this cartoon, which is far more violent than its predecessors. Though the film is judicious in exactly what gets shown, the aggression is nonetheless apparent. In one scene, he camera focuses on a soldier's head disappearing into Doomsday's gigantic fist; the screen pans up to Doomsday's face before we see the muscles of his arm twisting and a sickening crunch sounding. We may not have witnessed the murder, but it certainly leaves little to the imagination. Doomsday isn't the only heartless killer; we also see Luthor economically dispose of one of his hirelings. This is all in vast contrast to the Saturday morning cartoon. As far as I know, there was only one death in Superman: The Animated Series's entire five-year span, and that was the bloodless vaporization of Dan Turpin.

For a story about the death of Superman, this escalation was both necessary and appropriate — and it's still probably less violent than the graphic novels. Yet I was still shocked, being unaccustomed to seeing such slaughter in any Superman vehicle. Shock is a good thing, though; when a character or story becomes predictable is when it loses me as a viewer.

It was this captivating and extended opening sequence that kept me through the rest, though I found the follow-up a bit disappointing. It's not just that the parallels to the comic book inspiration disappear after Superman's death; fitting the entire "Death of Superman" / "Funeral For a Friend" / "Reign of the Superman" story, which originally took more than a year of weekly comics to tell, into a 75-minute movie would be a herculean task. But the original story they've crafted to follow the Doomsday blitzkrieg doesn't strike any chords of emotion or intrigue. It's instead a rather mundane plot with no surprise heroes, villains, appearances, or twists — something I'd expect to find in another episode of a Saturday morning cartoon, if I haven't already, and not in a once-in-a-lifetime comic book epic.

Even if the circumstances of Superman's death and return are not wholly true to the source material, they needn't be; this is a different story, in a different medium. The parts that are done well are done extremely well and make the entire package worth viewing, if not owning.

In my quest for podcasts, I came across Supertalk Concern, a Superman show that doesn't limit itself to the Man of Steel. The latest episode has exciting scripting and production updates on live-action versions of Wonder Woman, The Flash, Justice League, and Watchmen. I'd be thrilled to see DC produce a film that'd succeed on the scale of Marvel's Spider-Man or X-Men.

But best of all in this podcast is a reading of a story the headline of which featured prominently in Superman Returns: "Why the World Doesn't Need a Superman". The show's host got his hands on the Daily Planet newspaper prop used in the movie, and it features actual articles, advertisements, and more. Though his delivery is not very elocutionary, the content of the article is interesting, proposing that, though Superman inspired humanity to achieve piece, it also made them sloppy and unable to care for themselves, knowing that Krypton's Last Son would save them. The message is mixed — though we can claim our independence in his absence, the blood is on his hands of those who have died who he would have saved by his presence — but the value is not just in the rhetoric, but in the insight it provides to its author. If we compare her theories to Superman's reception upon landing the airplane in the baseball stadium, it's astounding to acknowledge how positively everyone welcomed him back — perhaps everyone but Lois, the article's Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist. Methinks this is personal!

Courtesy Showbits reader Gene comes more film news from the DC universe. This interview with Bruce Timm looks at an upcoming series of direct-to-video animated films that, unlike Mystery of the Batwoman, are not based directly on animated series. Among them, look for a revamp of Superman that will pit two popular bad boys against each other: Adam Baldwin (Firefly's Jayne) as Superman, and James Marsters (Buffy's Spike) as Lex Luthor. Cool!