But I found 2010 to be mildly disappointing, due to a variety of logistical decisions. The Q&A sessions are scheduled for specific times and days, but the event coordinator chooses not to publicize those schedules ahead of time, such as on the Super Megafest Web site; my email requesting this data confirmed that it is not available in advance. Although I realize celebrities' schedules often cannot be determined until the last minute, it's frustrating for me to not know if I should be at the conference on Saturday at 10 AM or 5 PM, or on Sunday. Without the Q&A, I need only an hour or two to absorb the event in its entirety; it's unreasonable to block out an entire two-day weekend for whenever the Q&As might be.

The comfort of the celebrities is of course the organizers' priority, so rather than have the stars stand for an hour during Q&A, they're allowed to sit. But the session is held in a conference room large enough that folks in the back can't see someone seated at the front. A simple riser that would elevate the celebrity would be a simple fix.

Last year, I calculated the cost of admission plus that of Christopher Lloyd's autograph and decided it was worth getting the "VIP speed pass", which included admission and autographs by Lloyd and Lea Thompson. The "speed" aspect allowed me to bypass the line for this celebrity, which would otherwise take hours to traverse. But there was no fine print indicating that this privilege was valid only from 9:30 AM to 10:30 AM! The Web site informed me only that I was paying for "a beat-the-line speed pass". Such vague terminology bordered on the deceptive.

Despite all that, I was still glad for the opportunity to meet the stars. Few people had paid for the speed pass, which also granted exclusive access to Lloyd's Q&A session, which made for an intimate setting. Everyone got to ask a question, with mine being: "Does an actor of your renown still have to audition for parts, or are they written for or handed to you?" Lloyd said that sometimes, the writers say to themselves, "Oh, this script calls for a drunk? Let's get Lloyd." But more often, he still needs to audition, as it's not always clear whether he or someone else will be right for a part. Lea Thompson never showed up, so my pass got me two Lloyd autographs instead.

I also met Marina Sirtis, better known as Deanna Troi from Star Trek: TNG. She was very friendly and fun, laughing and smiling and calling everyone "hon". When I saw the various 8"x10" glossies she had available to autograph, I chose an off-camera shot from First Contact, commenting, "You were so funny in that film!" She responded, "I was more myself in that Star Trek movie than in any other."

I had some time to kill between sessions, so I sat in on a Q&A by Kristin Bauer, who plays Pam De Beaufort on True Blood. I'd never seen this show so wasn't very interested, but she redeemed herself with the credit of playing Lt. Laneth on an episode of Star Trek: Enterprise.

I ended the show by getting Peter Mayhew's autograph. The taciturn Wookie didn't have much to say and didn't offer to personalize his signature, though he did do so after I handed it back with the request.

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The headliners for this year's Super Megafest are Patrick Stewart and Sean Astin. After a month of waffling, and with just a week to spare, I coughed up the dough for another VIP speed pass. I'm a bit disenchanted with Super Megafest, though, and would not have been roped in for another expensive pass for anyone other than Captain Picard.

A prime example is in the TNG episode "Schisms", in which various crew members are subjected to nighttime alien abductions. This episode is also the origin of the fondly remembered demonstration of iambic heptameter known as "Ode to Spot", a poem written by the ship's android describing the qualities of his feline companion.

Despite its misspoken opening line, I love this artistic effort of Data's. Although his audience members roll their eyes, is there anything truly wrong with the piece? It's clever, it rhymes, and it shows true affection.

The only thing that could make it better — is if it were set to music:

Add "hip" to the list of Data's qualities.

A version of this rap is also included in a longer nerdcore dedication to Data.

(Hat tip to ROFLrazzi)

Upon arriving, I made a beeline for the corner, where there was hardly no wait to meet Brent Spiner, who played Data on Star Trek: The Next Generation. Instead of a handshake, he offered a fist bump, citing a cold. Though I'm sure he was sincere, even if he wasn't, it seemed an effective tactic to avoid getting sick, given the number of fans I'm sure he was to meet at such an event. I had him sign a picture of Data as a poker dealer, though had I noticed that a shot of him as Sherlock Holmes on the holodeck was also available, I might've opted for that one. As he signed it, I told him how encouraging it was to grow up watching a show where an intelligent, socially awkward individual could be a respected and contributing member of a team. "Yeah, that's a neat thing they did there, isn't it?" he replied. While he next signed the insert from my CD of his 1991 album, Ol' Yellow Eyes Is Back, I commented that a film I rarely hear his fans mention is Out to Sea, a delightful 1997 comedy with Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau, and Dyan Cannon in which he played a fantastic villain. "I thought that was a great film!" I told him. "So did I!" he agreed.

I next got in a rather long line for James Marsters, best known as the undead Spike on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. As with Mr. Spiner, I continued my trend of acknowledging the actors' lesser-known works, as I know from my limited experience in community theater that it's not always your best performance that's the one people remember. "I thought you were a great Lex Luthor," I told Mr. Marsters. He seemed genuinely surprised to hear that: "Oh! Thanks! It was particularly interesting to go back and do Smallville after that," he reflected, referencing his appearance on that show as Brainiac. He parodied a conversation with Michael Rosenbaum, that show's Luthor: "'So, you played my role, eh?'" Mr. Marsters told me he'll be doing more voice work on the Clone Wars animated series, though he doesn't yet know what part he'll play.

I hurried from Mr. Marster's table to the celebrity Q&A session, occurring every half-hour. I arrived a few minutes late to Mr. Spiner's session, at which point I was surprised to find fans asking not about his life on the Enterprise, but his life on the stage. Mr. Spiner is an accomplished stage actor, having appeared on Broadway before he did on Star Trek. He told us about his 1997 performance in the musical 1776: "We had the Tonies wrapped up… until Cabaret opened a week before the awards." Someone else also brought up Out to Sea, to which he said: "My life would be very different if people had seen that movie. My life would also be very different if Kevin Kline had never been born."

Mr. Spiner is a prolific Twitter user and spoke about the medium. "There is some Twitter pressure. If I don't write anything for three days, they have the cops looking for me." He asked my partner-in-crime, Gene, "Do you follow me on Twitter?" "I don't," he admitted, which prompted Mr. Spiner to ask: "What's wrong with you?"

Such acerbic commentary was surprisingly characteristic of Mr. Spiner's session. He badmouthed people he's worked for ("The Family Guy episode was awful. If I'd known I'd get three lines, I never would've done it. Couldn't Seth MacFarlane have given Patrick Stewart 43 lines instead of 47?"), expressed confusion over why people are so illogical as to wear shorts ("Because it gets so hot down there!" he sarcasticaly observed), and expressed no enthusiasm to reprise his role as Data ("I'm too old to be putting on that makeup. Do you remember what Harpo Marx looked like near the end? Maybe if they pay me $5 million.") But, like Don Rickles, he ensured "You know this was all in fun, right?" We did, and it was hilarious.

Surprisingly, the biggest laugh of the session didn't come from Mr. Spiner. Near the end of the session, I raised my hand for a question, and he called on me: "Ken, right?" I was absolutely shocked that he remembered me from an hour earlier. In that moment I was stunned, he explained, "I remember the names of everyone I've ever met. It's the strangest thing." I offered, "Wow — it's like you're a robot or something!" I thought it was a throwaway line, but the audience roared, during which Mr. Spiner stood there and silently glared at me. When he could be heard again, he turned to the back of the room, pointed at me, and called, "Security!"

But I did get to ask my question, and as I did the previous year with Jonathan Frakes, I told Mr. Spiner that I loved Gargoyles and asked what his favorite part of voice acting is. "I get to wear my own clothes, for one." But he confessed to not having seen not only JJ Abrams' Star Trek, but also most of TNG or any of Gargoyles. "The whole time I was recording that show, I had no idea what [Puck] looked like," he commented, referring to his character.

There were still several questions remaining when Mr. Spiner's time was up, so he quickly tossed out some answers: "When I was 14… It depends… and Mozart, I guess." What the corresponding questions might've been, we'll never know.

Next up was Peter Tork of The Monkees, who was in attendance at Super Megafest with fellow Monkee Micky Dolenz. Mr. Tork's session was well-attended but a bit more subdued. I couldn't tell if he actually liked the attention or not, and when he spent five minutes retelling his favorite Bugs Bunny skits, it seemed like a diversionary tactic to avoid speaking his own mind. But when asked direct questions, he didn't shy from the truth — such as regarding the prospect of a Monkees reunion. "When hell freezes over," he was quick to reply. Who's the holdout? "I will not work with Mike [Nesmith]. He renegs — he doesn't keep his word."

Another fan asked what kind of music Mr. Tork likes nowadays. "I like singer/songwriter. I'll be spinning the dial and come across a country song that's truly inspired, and the singer has something to say… Then the next song will be, 'My girlfriend left me so I'm drinking myself stupid.' I don't care for that." As a country music fan, I appreciated Mr. Tork's willingness to separate content from style.

Mr. Tork closed by inviting an audience member from the audience to do the Monkee walk, creating a wonderful memory for one lucky fan.

Also in attendance at Super Megafest 2009 was Larry Storch, whom I was fortunate enough to meet at the 2007 event; and Cindy Morgan, with whom I neglected to reminisce about a time, six years and three thousand miles ago, when I said something that prompted her to punch Bruce Boxleitner.

My expenses at this year's Super Megafest were typical for such an event. Brent Spiner cost $40 per autograph, or $70 for two, including the glossy headshot. James Marsters was $40, plus $5 for the photo. Peter Tork and Micky Dolenz were $25 each; I took advantage of the former to have signed my DVD insert from The Brady Bunch Movie. New this year was a local studio offering professional photos with your favorite celebrity. I saw a few of the pics, and they were high quality — but at $40 a pop, not including JPEGs, reprints, or autographs, it seemed an unnecessary indulgence even to someone who's willing to pay for celebrity signatures. Unfortunately, the studio's exclusivity meant no more impromptu posed pictures at the autograph table, like I got with Ray Park in 2007.

The Super Megafest is always a great opportunity to meet the stars, but this year, I feel like I also got to know them. I can't wait to see what other celebrities future Megafests will make real.

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Why, you use the Benny Hillifier, of course!

Younger theatergoers may not know the name Benny Hill, but they'll recognize the tune and style of the show that ran on the BBC for twenty years. The Benny Hillifier applies that same theme to any YouTube video: just submit the URL, click "Go", and watch as it replaces the audio track of your chosen video with "Yakety Sax". The video can optionally be sped up to double-time, though the site states that "Speeding up is broken for now".

Fortunately, back when the site was fully functional, I slaved to find the best videos to Benny Hillify. Half the fun is seeing familiar media in a new context, so of course I turned to the vast library of Star Trek material. First, the new movie's trailer:

Notice the crashing car is a recurring theme between this video and the actual Benny Hill credits. Who knew the BBC had such a subtle but indeniable influence on Gene Roddenberry's universe?

What about Data? If any Star Trek character is inclined to unintentional humor, it's our white and nerdy android. Let's Benny Hillify a familiar clip:

This trick is applicable to other franchises, of course. The plot of The Matrix may be laughable, but the excellently choreographed fight scenes are not. So let's bring them down to a more consistent level:

What are your favorite clips to Benny Hillify? Or do you prefer the site's similar instant drama, instant tragedy, or all-purpose dubbing tools? Share your efforts here!

Hat tip to Bill Corbett!

In contrast, I've always found Star Trek to be limited in its scope. Why must science fiction be its own genre? Surely there's room for Star Trek to explore other styles, such as comedy or murder-mystery. How about Friends: Ten-Forward or CSI: Cardassia?

Some enterprising (heh) editors are of the same opinion and, as proof of concept, have remodeled Star Trek after their favorite hits from the past. What would Kirk and company look like if they composed The A-Team?

Need less action and a bit more intrigue? Then try Dallas:

Or, if you prefer something more light-hearted, how about Gilligan's Island?

If, after seeing all these alternatives, you're still a purist who believes Star Trek belongs firmly in the future, then let us at least return to 1969, the era in which it was launched:

(You can also view a side-by-side comparison of the Star Trek and 1969 openings.)

So, what do you think… is there room enough in the world of Star Trek for all these genres to get along?

(Hat tips to IT Blogwatch and Dayton Ward)

That day may never come, as that show's actors have mostly aged and moved on, the set dismantled, the public ready for something new. But diehard fans can be very un-Vulcan-like in their passion for these memorable characters. For them, the animated series Family Guy offers a special reunion in this Sunday's episode that reunites the bridge crew of the Enterprise-D:

Trek lore is rife with tales of on-screen characters played by actors who loathed each other, and it's refreshing to know the cast of TNG is not immunue to such petty rivalries, even twenty years after the show's debut. Their seven-year mission must've been laced with false politeness that just barely masked their contempt for each other:

(Hat tip to Levar Burton)

I doubt I was alone in such fantasies, though the form may've been different for others. Regardless of their particular obsession, geeks often overlap in their interests. Be it Star Wars, Dungeons & Dragons, or computer programming, there's just something about these hobbies that attracts similar mindsets.

When not just the fans but the interests themselves intersect, it is a cause for jubilation. Such is the case with musician and performer "Weird Al" Yankovic, who often performs parodies and spoofs of Star Wars, eBay, and more. Many of these topics feature in the music video for his popular song his song "White & Nerdy", which encapsulates all a geek's attributes into less than three minutes. Could it be any nerdier?

The answer: yes. This video takes the "White & Nerdy" audio and sets it to montages of my childhood hero:

This video's debut was preceeded a month earlier by a Spock version, which has some good chuckles. There's also a Deep Space Nine take, but it limits itself by being based entirely on the "Trials and Tribble-ations" episode. Finally, there's an attempt to set Weird Al's "The Saga Begins", which tells the tale of Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, to video from Star Trek: Voyager. It's creative, but I'm not really sure it works.

What are some of your favorite Star Trek spoofs or Weird Al tunes?

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Having attended last year's Megafest, I knew what to expect: a small but full hall of merchandise, with a few smaller aisles of celebrity signings. I'm not a collector and, as appealing as the vintage toys, comics, and posters were, I wouldn't need to budget much time to peruse the various vendors' wares. I'd be there for the stars, who offered not only their autographs but also their time. A fee for their signatures meant the lines to meet these guests would be short, which equated to more time they could spend with each fan. There were actors, wrestlers, artists, and other big names to appeal to everyone, but I narrowed down my must-meet list just three.

Meeting them occurred more quickly than I predicted. Aside from the show floor, there was a too-small conference room in which each celebrity was granted a half-hour moderated Q&A session. No schedule was posted to the show's Web site, so I took a gamble and showed up as late as 2:30 PM on Saturday. At exactly that moment, the first star on my list was taking the stage, followed immediately afterward by the next. I could not have planned my first hour at the Megafest more precisely.

Dawn Wells, famous for her innocent portrayal of Mary Ann on Gilligan's Island, was happy to entertain questions from the fans. Though Ms. Wells now runs a film school in Idaho, most of the discussion was about the role and show she is best known for. Ms. Wells said that in the Sixties, Gilligan's Island was how the rest of the world saw America, though she made no allusion to another group that thought the show was real. More recently, she considered the 2004 reality show based on the series a travesty — "Why would you take anything so wholesome and have Mary Ann and Ginger mud wrestle?" Yet even the original series has its dark rumors, such as that the seven castaways were modeled after the seven deadly sins, with Mary Ann representing envy. "Preposterous," claimed Ms. Wells. During this short session, I did not get the opportunity to ask either of my burning questions: how did she and the Professor feel about the theme song reducing them to "the rest"; and why could the Professor build a radio out of coconuts, but he couldn't repair a hole in a boat?

I bumped into Ms. Wells again later when she was signing autographs, but she seemed preoccupied. I briefly mentioned the book Gilligan's Wake to her, but she'd never heard of it. We then both moved on.

After her Q&A, I kept my seat for Jonathan Frakes, prolific sci-fi actor and director best known for the role of Commander William T. Riker on Star Trek: The Next Generation. He paraded down the room to the theme of TNG, courtesy his own vocal talents — remarkable, since the theme has no words. "Sorry, but I love that song," he grinned. That introduction set the tone for the rest of the session, as Mr. Frakes seemed genuinely amused by absolutely everything: his history, his fans, their questions. I did not expect someone attending his umpteenth convention in 20 years to be so gracious, but there he was. He asked our opinion of the new Star Trek movie. I offered "cautiously optimistic", to which he replied, "I feel the same, except for the 'cautiously' part." He added, "I got to visit the bridge, and it is spec-TAC-ular" (emphasis his). "And the studios are serious about it. For the money they're pumping into it, we could've made three or four more Trek films — NOT THAT I'M BITTER!" Mr. Frakes also had a full portfolio of other roles he was happy to discuss: everything from having recently auditioned for a part on Reaper to his work as host for Alien Autopsy. "I was the spokesperson for the paranormal for several years," he reflected. "'We can't get Stewart, but call Frakes! He'll do anything!' I was the Mikey of sci-fi." This time, I got my turn to ask a question: "I loved Gargoyles. Could you talk about your work as a voice actor?" (two sentences which he interrupted with, "You have excellent taste.") "It's a dream job. You get to go to work in your pajamas." Also: "I don't understand why Gargoyles didn't last longer." That makes two of us.

I later caught up with Mr. Frakes at his autograph table. Just ahead of me was a young girl of six or seven to whom Mr. Frakes was enthusiastically recommending Seussical the Musical. As she left, he commented to me, "She had no idea what I was saying." I disagreed: "You'd be surprised what sticks at that age. I was only eight when my dad sat me down to watch the sequel to a show he'd grown up with." "And he made you watch every episode after that?" "Are you kidding? After that first episode, he didn't have to make me do anything!" "… You were born in 1979?" he asked. I expected this question to lead into an unoriginal crack about how old I made him feel. Instead he nodded sagely and commented, "That's a good age to get into Star Trek." I'd brought along my copy of First Contact for Mr. Frakes, the film's director, to sign, telling him, "This really was the best movie. You really understood what Star Trek was about." Another director might've taken that as an opportunity to denigrate Stuart Baird, who capsized the TNG film franchise with his direction of Nemesis. Mr. Frakes simply added, "We had a great script to work with." Before then, I'd already respected him as an actor; I did not expect him to exhibit such humility and grace as to leave me also respecting him as a person.

The final highlight of the day was meeting Carroll Spinney, the man inside the Big Bird costume since 1969. (Mr. Spinney also brings to life Oscar the Grouch.) Like my three older brothers, I grew up on Sesame Street and was moved to meet someone who had been such a good friend to me; part of me regrets not taking the opportunity to give him a big hug. When I told him I still remembered the day everyone met Mr. Snuffleupagus, he replied, "That was a Thursday." What a gentle and amusing sense of humor!

I got far more out of my two hours at this year's Megafest than one would think. Whereas Adam West and Burt Ward charged $50 per signature in 2007, this year was more reasonable, almost disproportionately so: $30 for Dawn Wells, $25 for Jonathan Frakes, and $20 for Carroll Spinney. But though I went home with fewer autographs this year, I took with me more memories. Sure, Ray Park and Helen Slater have an undeniable "cool" factor, but their performances didn't have nearly the impact on my upbringing as Mr. Spinney's and Mr. Frakes'. This weekend, they gave me more than their autographs: they gave me the chance to say "Thank you."

The most recent and famous example may be William Shatner plugging DirecTV:

Of course, once you find the DirecTV channel you want, put down the remote and get your hands busy with some finger-lickin' goodness:

Unfortunately, not all Star Trek tie-ins have such a healthy sense of humor. In much the way Mr. T puts the 'T' in 'IT', Jonathan Frakes appeared in this excruciating commercial in which the commander of the Enterprise sells enterprise software. Yet the impression the ad leaves is not of any particular IT solution, as its name is seldom, if ever, mention. (I'm told it's "Main View Enterprise Management software, and the commercial is from Blooper and Babbage")

Fortunately, Frakes later redeemed himself and the rest of the TNG crew when they applied their talents to a charitable cause:

Just like technology, eugenics, and Tribbles, commercial endorsement can be used for good or ill. May all our bottom lines live long and prosper.

(Hat tip to Dayton Ward)

Composer and Emmy winner Alexander Courage passed away last month at age 88. His works include the theme to the original Star Trek television series. Yet he received little of his dues from that famous piece. To cut costs, Gene Roddenberry wrote lyrics to accompany Mr. Courage's music. Despite no intention of using the (awful) lyrics, Mr. Roddenberry was then able to claim half the royalties that would've otherwise gone to the song's rightful creator. Whether or not any reparations were ever made between the two, I am unsure. Snopes states that "After scoring a couple of first-season episodes, Courage declined to perform any further musical work for the series." But his influence on what eventually became the Star Trek franchise is noted in his filmography, which gives him attribution on practically every Star Trek movie, show, and game of the last half-century.

Shortly thereafter, the musical world also suffered the loss of Earle Hagen, also aged 88. Mr. Hagen was responsible for such memorable theme songs as those of The Dick Van Dyke Show and Andy Griffith. These are the shows I grew up on, and though these comedies played out in a different situation every week, we were always introduced to them with the familiar opening sequences and tunes. Thank you, Mr. Hagen, for leaving that mark.

I'd intended for these two passings to be the extent of this post, but I unfortunately recently learned of two others. Unlike the musicians above, Robert Justman's talent was in directing and producing for both TOS and TNG. Though he worked on only one season of TNG, his decision to cast Patrick Stewart over Gene Roddenberry's objections was a decision with an indelible mark on Trek lore. Mr. Justman died last month at age 82.

Also a directorial veteran of TOS was Joseph Pevney, who gave us such episodes as The City on the Edge of Forever and The Trouble with Tribbles. Possibly more than any episodes in TOS's short run, these two have spawned numerous plots, threads, and novels throughout the Trek timeline. Mr. Pevney was 96 when he passed.

How fortunate we are to have had the musical and directing talents of these men, both within Star Trek and without; how fortunate they were to have lived such long and notable lives.

(Hat tips to TrekToday and Dayton Ward)