I'm amazed that these movies are written by Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, who brought us not only the entertaining (but predictable) Mission:Impossible III, but more significantly, the recent reboot of Star Trek. How can the same team produce such divergent quality? But then, if my idea of a good movie is Orson Welles playing a toy, then maybe my perspective is skewed.

Regardless, I expect Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen to not be this summer's only disappointing film about robots. What if those two movies didn't just morph, but merged? Would they form… Transforminators?

Or maybe Transformers on its own already has more robotic characters than even we realize:

Though obviously a spoof, this concept isn't altogether foreign. The movie S1m0ne suggested something similar, in which the protagonist created a completely artificial actress whose performance indistinguishable from authentically wooden acting. Though the film was fictional, the recent 'Emily' image metrics demonstration showcases the ability to generate a computerized face from a real one.

Now if only they could make computerized computers that can change shape, act, and star in a critically successful film…

(Hat tip to Blake Patterson)

First up is G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. Though I'm encouraged to see one of my favorite actors, Dennis Quaid, the team he's leading does not have much chance to shine in this particular trailer. We see too little of the colorful heroes and villains like Snake Eyes (played by Ray Park) or Destro that made the cartoon so memorable.

Next up is the return of G.I. Joe's Eighties contemporaries, those robots in disguise, in Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen. Readers to Showbits will recall that I absolutely loathed the original film, and nothing in the sequel's trailer indicates a departure from that model — though the scope of the new robots piques my interest:

Finally, there's yet another adaptation of a television show, this one a live-action series from the mid-Seventies: The Land of the Lost. With few exceptions, almost anything Will Ferrell stars in is going to be a silly spoof, and this film looks to be true to that trend. Though the original series could definitely be described as campy, it was no Gilligan's Island, which this version appears to be:

The above movies are just three of the many upcoming films being adapted from television shows. Other trailers that debuted yesterday and are now available online include a mix of new and old:

• Star Trek XI, technically another television adaptation. (for the highest quality trailer, a 73.9 MB QuickTime version is available)
• Up, the latest Pixar film.
• Monsters vs. Aliens, also an animated film.
• Race to Witch Mountain, the classic Disney film remade with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
• Angels & Demons, the sequel to The Da Vinci Code (although in Dan Brown's original books, The Da Vinci Code is actually the sequel).
• Year One, a Jack Black comedy set in the time of Moses. Both Michael Cera and David Cross of Arrested Development appear.
• Fast and Furious 4

]]> http://www.showbits.net/2009/02/02/super-bowl-trailers/feed/ 2 http://www.showbits.net/2008/01/04/2007-review/ http://www.showbits.net/2008/01/04/2007-review/#comments Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:19:26 +0000 Ken Gagne http://www.showbits.net/2008/01/04/2007-review/ It's time for a brief look back at 2007 — brief, because my theatergoing is not what it once was. The number of movies I saw in theaters has fluctuated wildly since a decade ago, though it seems relatively constant over the course of this millennium:

This past year was very similar to its predecessor, with me taking in 15 theatrical films. It is not the prohibitive cost that keeps me from seeing more movies: a genetic condition permits me free tickets to any movie, anytime. It's more a matter of the time investment and working around the theater's schedule, whereas I can watch as much of a DVD as I want, whenever I want. Theatergoing also has a more social element than sitting at home in my pajamas, so I'm further limited by other people's geography and availability. Add in the fact that I don't have TV service and thus am not exposed unwillingly to commercials and trailers, and it takes some other rare factor, such as brand recognition, to make me aware and interested enough to warrant seeing a film.

Of the 15 films I saw in 2007, the best were Live Free or Die Hard, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and National Treasure: Book of Secrets. (I'd include Star Trek: The Menagerie as a theatergoing experience, but it technically was not a movie.) All three were rock'em, sock'em good action flicks that may've relied on tried-and-true formulae, but executed with finesse and humor.

This year's most disappointing movies were Spider-Man 3, 300, The Simpsons Movie, and The Golden Compass. And downright loathsome was The Transformers, which I recently saw the RiffTrax version of. Sadly, even Mike Nelson and crew could not improve on The Transformers, as I found it even more tedious on a second runthrough. Again, each of these films was based on an existing property, which perhaps led to high and ultimately unfulfilled expectations.

Which of 2007's films did you enjoy the most or least? Did I miss any you recommend?

Yet after hearing positive word-of-mouth for Transformers, I allowed my expectations to be raised… and therein lay my downfall.

For anyone mentally above the age of, say, 30, and is therefore unfamiliar with this franchise, here's a synopsis: the Autobots and Decepticons, from the planet Cybertron, are benign and malevolent robots that disguise themselves as Earth vehicles. In this film, they've come to our planet to recover the Allspark, the non-sentient cube of unknown origin that first breathed life into their mechanical bodies. Control of the Allspark will grant its wielder mastery over all robotic life, whether it be used for niceness or bad.

If that had been what the movie was really about, it might have stood a chance. Unfortunately, its true focus is its two sexually-charged, teenaged protagonists (Shia LeBeouf and Megan Fox). In fact, Bumblebee's first mission is apparently to help the guy get the girl, which sets the tone for interspecies interaction: when dealing with humans, the Autobots are as thick as molasses. An agonizing scene wherein they are supposed to wait outside while LeBeouf retrieves a pair of eyeglasses from his parents' house plays host to immature and unbelievable behavior of both 'bots and biologicals. I suppose I should take into consideration the fact that we actually see the Autobots arrive on Earth during the time frame of the movie, meaning they've had no opportunity to acclimate to local culture (except what they claim to have gleaned from the Internet).

Continuing the anthrocentric trend, the film's primary antagonists are not the Decepticons, but the government. John Turturro and his henchmen can't tell a good guy from a bad one, so they indiscriminately assault and arrest whatever mechas they come across. Turturro's schizophrenic character is poorly written as some sort of schizophrenic good cop/bad cop who randomly, snidely remarks about how he's made horny not by Megan Fox, but by her criminal record.

As a result of all this biological interference, the robots (isn't that what we came here for?) have very little opportunity to be anthropomorphized. Their personalities are barely developed, with the likes of Megatron, Starscream, Ironhide, and Jazz given few scenes and even fewer identifying characteristics. And though I don't question the quality of the CGI that brings these robots to life, I do take exception with the decisions made of how to use it. Though the cars and tanks are easily distinguished from each other, their robot forms are not as easily identifiable, except for the bright colors of Optimus Prime or Bumblebee. And robots should never, ever have lips. At least the words (if not the dialogue) are satisfactory, with the original Optimus Prime, Peter Cullen, reprising his role. It's tolerable that we're missing Frank Welker as Megatron (and Orson Welles as Unicron).

It's a good thing I didn't review this film for Computerworld.com, as the technological terminology was just deplorable. What kind of virus is a "spider-bug"? How can a DNA-based virus hack a computer faster than a regular one? (Later, the Decepticons are referred to as "Non-Biological Entities". So much for DNA.) And since when is hacking detected by listening for audio signals? Is this CIA or SETI?

Ostensibly, this film is about a boy who discovers giant robots and gets caught up in their large-scale battles. For those reasons, I can imagine loving this film as a kid, just like I did Masters of the Universe, which celebrates its 20th anniversary this year. And though I'm still sufficiently immature to enjoy the original cartoon, this modern day remake doesn't live up to its animated predecessor.

These two futuristic deathbringers represent possibly my favorite action films ever: the original Robocop film and the second Terminator. The former is a haunting tale of a man robbed of his family, his memory, even his emotions — everything but his career. He uses that sole connection to give his life purpose and, eventually, his audience a TV series that I actually enjoyed. The latter is a villain sent from the future to alter the past… but for better, or for worse? Plot twists, character dynamics (especially the humanity of the Terminator and lack of same in Sarah Connor), and awesome action sequences make this a film that's more than meets the eye.

Too bad these two robotic icons never encountered each other… or did they?!

Movies I want to see this year:

Spider-Man 3 (May 4th)
The Transformers (July 4th)
Harry Potter (July 13th)

Movies I wouldn't mind seeing:

Ghost Rider (now playing)
The Astronaut Farmer (now playing)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (March 23rd)
Shrek 3 (May 18th)
Sin City 2 (September?)

Movies that I can't believe they're making out of TV shows, whether or not they'll be out this year:

The A-Team
Get Smart
I Dream of Jeannie
Land of the Lost
Love Boat

Or video games:

Dead or Alive (June 22nd)
Prince of Persia
Soul Calibur

Or other franchises:

Hot Wheels
Jurassic Park IV
Underdog

What about you — what looks hot, or has you bothered, in 2007?

One person on TheForce.net writes that all his doubts and skepticism about a live-action film based on our favorite childhood cartoon have been erased by this trailer. I don't see how that's possible; it looks like a bad Sci-Fi Channel action flick to me.

Fortunately, I'm getting my Transformers fix in another fashion: watching the Dungeons & Dragons complete animated series on DVD. The connection to robots in disguise: the villainous Venger is voiced by Peter Cullen, while Uni (like almost every cartoon animal ever) is played by Frank Welker. These two voice actors will be reprising their roles in next year's film as Optimus Prime and Megatron, respectively.