Showbits

My first pandemic year was spent watching a lot of television — partly because we were all isolating from each other, but also because I needed an unthinking escape from this dark reality we found ourselves in.

The second year of the pandemic is still grim, but we learned to adapt. In San Francisco, I spent $50 for a ticket to the drive-in to watch Mad Max: Fury Road. I hadn't seen this 2015 film before, and even though I had no one else in my car and there were no snacks for sale, the novelty of seeing a movie anywhere other than my own home made the ticket price worth it. (Helluva action film, too.)

Then, in that too-brief window between the arrival of vaccines and the arrival of the delta variant, returning to traditional movie theaters became possible. A friend and I loved Ryan Reynolds in Free Guy, which reminded me of cross between The Truman Show, Pleasantville, and Wreck-It Ralph. Despite being opening weekend, the theater in Boulder, Colorado, was practically deserted; the few other moviegoers were, like us, masked.

Two weeks later in that same theater was a different story when we attended the one-night-only RiffTrax Live: Hobgoblins. This time, the theater was half-full, and half of the patrons were not wearing masks. Even though seating was reserved, we shifted seats several times to stay as far away from others as possible. The anxiety of the situation made it hard

It was while I was in Boston a few months later that RiffTrax hosted the second of this year's live events, Amityville: The Evil Escapes. Being in a bigger city during the delta wave, I opted to skip this one, making it only the second RiffTrax Live event I've missed in the 11-year history of the series.

I nonetheless took my odds on a Monday afternoon matinée of Venom 2, a movie I can now say did not warrant risking a pandemic for. It reinforced that I made the right decision to miss Black Widow, Shang-Chi, The Eternals, and Spider-Man: No Way Home in theaters, though I have since caught Black Widow on Blu Ray from Redbox.

Still, I saw more movies in theaters in 2021 than I did in 2020. And I watched less television — but also more Star Trek than ever before. Between the end of Discovery's third season and the beginning of its fourth was the second season of Lower Decks and the debut of Prodigy. The continuous streak of Trek will continue into 2022 with the rest of Prodigy's first season, the premiere of Strange New Worlds, and the return of Picard. From drama to comedy, live action to animated, and new characters to old, there's something for every Trekkie.

We Trekkies have everything we need — but 'tis the season of giving, so let us return the favor to our favorite captain and ask: Jean-Luc, what do you want for Christmas?

When I told my friends that I'd arrived in Alameda, California, I got the same question over and over — from Twitter:

Have you found the nuclear vessels?

— Dame Sabriel Mastin? (@Sabriality) February 2, 2021

To Facebook:

And text message:

This seemingly synchronized flurry was no surprise to me, but others may wonder: why would so many people independently ask such a bizarre question? The answer lies in this scene from the 1986 film Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.

This scene — the fiftieth best moment in science-fiction history, according to Popular Mechanics — follows the crew of the USS Enterprise starship, having traveled from the year 2286 to 1986 San Francisco to rescue two humpback whales. Officers Pavel Chekhov and Nyota Uhura's side mission is to find a nuclear reactor they can use to power their spaceship for their return flight to the future, leading to this legendary comedic scene.

Chekhov and Uhura eventually do find a nuclear-powered aircraft carrier at the Naval Air Station Alameda. I would have to follow their footsteps if I wanted to answer my friends' questions. Alas, this naval base closed in 1997, eleven years after the movie and twenty-four years before my arrival.

This Trekkie was nonetheless determined not to waste my time on the very walkable island of Alameda. Near the end of my seven weeks there, I took an extended lunch break, making my way to what is now the Alameda Naval Air Museum. Lo and behold, there docked a nuclear wessel.

Much like the the original film, I took artistic license. Chekhov and Uhura reported that the carrier they found was the nuclear-powered Enterprise — but historical records show that the Enterprise was not in Alameda at that time; the ship shown in the movie is in fact the USS Ranger. Similarly, the ship seen above is the USS Hornet, which, like the Ranger, radiated not a single Joule of nuclear energy.

Nuclear vessels may have been the star of Star Trek IV's most famous scene, but while Chekhov and Uhura prowled around Alameda, Captain Kirk and company explored other areas of San Francisco.

After Alameda, I spent six weeks in San Francisco's Outer Sunset neighborhood. Just like the fate of Earth in Star Trek IV, I knew my time was short: if I wanted to make the most of my stay in the Bay Area, I had to act swiftly. So one Saturday, I called my old college friend Ping and asked if he wanted to join me on a walking tour of downtown San Francisco. Our knowledge of Star Trek lore, combined with the websites IMDb and The Worldwide Guide to Movie Locations, led us to a short stretch of road where three different scenes were shot, where Ping graciously served as our photographer.

Each scene presented unique challenges. Whereas Kirk was nearly run over by a taxi driver, I had no desire to be vehicularly threatened. I stepped out into the street only far enough to glare menacingly at motorists as they passed by at a safe distance.

This alley was one that Ping had walked by several times over the years without recognizing it. Understandably so: in the movie, the most notable element is the billboard for Pacific Bell Yellow Pages, which would be anachronistic to discover now.

The "nuclear wessels" scene was the most difficult to recreate. In the intervening years, a portion of nearby Joe DiMaggio Playground had made way for the North Beach Library branch, changing the flow of foot traffic and the available camera angles. That didn't stop us from shooting our own version of the scene.

I enjoyed not only bringing one of my favorite Star Trek movies to life, but doing so with a good friend whom I hadn't seen in a decade. Whereas my geeky interests were uncommon in grade school and high school, I sometimes forget they didn't make me an outlier in college, where I was surrounded by scientists and engineers like Ping. When I thanked him for humoring me with this walking tour, saying there's no one else I could do this with, he laughed, echoing the sentiment: "Ken, there's no one else I could do this with!"

Sometimes, The Voyage Home is about the friends you make along the way.

(This post originally appeared on Roadbits)

I work for WordPress VIP, a completely distributed company: all its employees work remotely. The isolation we often feel is even more pronounced in these isolated times caused by COVID-19, calling for unprecedented measures to ensure team morale.

Last Wednesday was my turn to host our team's weekly video call — and it was April Fool's… so I decided to treat my colleagues to a special opening.

(OKR = Objectives and Key Results; TAM = Technical Account Manager; DIO = Deal Is Official)

The idea came when a co-worker suggested we coordinate cosplay and Zoom virtual backgrounds for a Star Trek-themed conference call.

@gamebits are you thinking what I'm thinking? https://t.co/rGMyXp0Mhx

— Lucky Annie LeBlanc ?? (@HeyLuckyAnnie) March 31, 2020

The next morning, as we prepared for the call, I began feeling inspired. I hopped into Final Cut Pro X and whipped together the above intro in about a half-hour, with another twenty minutes fine-tuning it. Assets included the opening credit sequence; an instrumental version of the opening theme song (which omits Stewart's narration), which then segues into the show's actual theme (which includes the sound effects); footage of the Enterprise D docking at a starbase; and the Crillee Bold Italic font.

If I'd had more time, I would've liked to replace the "Star Trek: The Next Generation" title with "WordPress: The VIP Generation"; I even had the Federation font ready for the occasion. But that sort of title is not a stock option in FCPX, and I had only an hour before the meeting in which to produce the entire video, so I went with the minimum viable product.

Despite that shortcoming, the intro was a big hit with my co-workers! It set a positive mood on a day when one was really needed, with the accompanying text chat including lots of "omg" and "LOL" and "holy ****". I'm glad to work for a company that enjoys such geeking out and appreciates it when their teammates do so — one co-worker even said, "This is like distilled essence of Ken."

On this First Contact Day, may we all live long and and prosper to better times!

(The video is shared here with permission of my team lead and all others who are named in the video.)

This holiday season, Star Trek is in a lull: except for the occasional Short Trek (and accompanying podcast episode of Transporter Lock), there's been nothing new for us to watch since the second season of Discovery ended in April.

But next year will be a very different story. Not only is Discovery coming back for a third season — one set further into the future of Star Trek's timeline than we've ever seen — but Patrick Stewart will return to the role of Jean-Luc Picard in his own series. A trailer that debuted while I was at KansasFest 2019, where we watched it on a projector. Several of my fellow geeks can attest to the three times I screamed — see if you can spot them:

Television has changed significantly since The Next Generation went off the air in 1994. Whereas Deep Space Nine pioneered serialized storytelling, nowadays it is commonplace and even the default. Picard's new adventures won't be neatly bottled episodes that end with a weekly reset button; we should expect his journeys to continuously progress, going where he's never gone before and then some.

But it's not just television that's changed; it's also Trek itself. Picard was captain of the last crew assembled by Gene Roddenberry himself, who believed that humanity has resolved its inner conflicts by the 24th century. The inhabitants of the Enterprise D largely got along, inviting viewers to join their spacefaring family. Two years after Roddenberry passed away in 1991, Deep Space Nine debuted, introducing a station crew that was distrustful, conflicted, lustful, and mysterious.

Which universe will Picard find himself in? From the trailer, not all is well within and without the Federation. Whereas our science fiction in general and Trek in particular was once largely optimistic, as seen in TNG, now it is more dystopian, as often seen in DS9 and even Discovery. Can a retired captain and a new crew hope to make a difference?

We have months in which to ponder that question before Picard debuts in 2020. In the meantime, we can look to our own present, set aside our worries for the future, and enjoy the holiday season. It's what Captain Picard would want.

Thirty-two years ago today, my dad and I watched the premiere of Star Trek: The Next Generation. So I thought today would be a good day to die get the gang back together — not in the upcoming Picard series, but in my dining room.

Across years of attending E3, Super Megafest, and Star Trek conventions, I've had the good fortune to meet castmembers from every Star Trek series. Each gave me a moment of their time with conversations I'll always remember for the insight into their off-screen personalities: Jonathan Frakes is goofy and gracious; Brent Spiner is witty and wily; Denise Crosby is open and kind. These moments came as they autographed eight-by-ten glossies, which became my touchstones for these celebrities who brought to life characters that molded my upbringing and creativity.

I eventually moved into an apartment where I could display these mementos.

A Saturday night spent decorating the new place: pic.twitter.com/NmgwaagzNP

— Ken Gagne (@gamebits) July 6, 2014

Of my collection, only one franchise was nearly complete: The Next Generation. And of that, only one actor was missing: Wil Wheaton.

Wheaton was the keynote speaker at the first Penny Arcade Expo East, held every year in Boston. It is also the only PAX East whose keynote speech I missed, and that weekend didn't present another opportunity to corner young Wesley Crusher.

The next possible encounter didn't come until almost a decade later, when I booked passage on the JoCo Cruise, an annual cruise of nerd celebrities: actors, sci-fi authors, podcast hosts, and comic artists. Wil Wheaton was one of the guests in 2017, so I came prepared with both one of his books and a headshot I'd bought on eBay.

On JoCo Cruise, celebrities are treated like fellow passengers, and we're asked not to stalk or harass them. Still, I felt I could acknowledge Wheaton's celebrity while still being respectful. For example, I was reading Wheaton's book by the pool when he happened to walk by, and I asked for his signature, which he graciously provided — completely natural.

That moment was happenstance, though — for the headshot, I had to be more deliberate, as I couldn't just "happen" to be walking around with his photo. On Pajama Day (I was dressed in my DS9/Voyager medical jammies), I again hung out by the pool, this time with his photo. I saw Wheaton playing a board game with friends, which I didn't want to interrupt; then, without pause, he dove into lunch with his family, which was another private moment. When he was finished eating, that was my chance.

I approached him with the photo and a Sharpie marker and asked for his autograph — which, like his castmates, he graciously provided. It somehow came up that I'm from Leominster, hometown of R.A. Salvatore, who I was surprised to learn is a friend of Wheaton's! Wheaton credited Salvatore as being a mentor during his transition from actor to writer.

I also told Wheaton that his was the last autograph I needed to complete my TNG collection. He signed it appropriately.

To Ken: Quest Complete. -Wil Wheaton

Unlike the $20–80 I'd spent for each of his castmates' autographs at conventions, Wheaton's only cost me a cruise. But it was worth it.

That was two-and-a-half years ago, and in all that time, I've never framed and displayed Wheaton's autograph. On my dining room wall, except for a few scattered superheroes and Star Wars characters on the far end, the headshots were grouped by Star Trek series, with the same franchise in each column. I didn't know how to rearrange it to make room for young Mr. Crusher. Some friends recommended I get a ladder and add an entirely new row, filling it in with non-Trek actors in my collection, but that seemed overwhelming.

But this week, I'm moving out of my apartment, and I'll no longer have room for any such displays. Today, the anniversary of TNG's debut, was my last chance to reunite Wesley with his Enterprise family.

So as all the other headshots came down, one went up.

The TNG crew is always together in my heart, and I can revisit their adventures anytime with a DVD. But today, I tied together all those personal experiences, scattered across all the years. As with all my Star Trek encounters, this was a fleeting moment, but a happy one, and one that I'll take with me in all my travels.

Merry Christmas from the crew of the Enterprise NX-01 in this video that brought up a lot of memories for me.

Last Christmas, I shared how my mom and I have been watching Star Trek: The Next Generation together. It's the first time she's seen the show, but the umpteenth time for me. The episodic nature of TNG makes it easy to watch any episode in any order that I must've eventually seen this entire series multiple times.

This is in sharp contrast to every Star Trek series that followed, especially Deep Space Nine and Enterprise. All seven seasons of DS9, and the second half of Enterprise, had narrative arcs that made for much better storytelling but less accessibility into the universe. If you didn't start from the beginning or you missed an episode along the way, woe was you. As a result, I've seen these series all the way through only once each.

So when someone close to me started watching Enterprise this year, I was surprised my memories of Enterprise were as vivid as any other series. As she reported back on certain episodes or plots, I found myself remembering exact episode names or even lines of dialogue. We watched the episode "Dear Doctor", which opens with Doctor Phlox flirting with a female crewmember. My memory came back in stages: "Who is that?… Oh, that's Ensign Cutler. What's she doing there?… Oh, she was written as a love interest for Phlox. Why didn't we ever see more of her?… Oh." That's when I remembered actor Kellie Waymire had passed away during the filming of Enterprise, at the young age of 36.

That wasn't my only melancholy experience of Enterprise, nor was it likely the only reason I remember the show so well. My dad got me into Star Trek, and we watched it faithfully from 1987 through 2004. After that, we had only the occasional movie to keep our Trek tradition alive. I didn't know at the time that Enterprise be our last shared television series, but it gave the show a special place in my memory. My only regret is that we never watched the fourth season together — our schedules and relationship didn't align at that point in our lives. When I finally watched it alone years later, I ended in tears, knowing this was the end of something special between me and my father.

When my "Dear Doctor" co-viewer continued on her voyage through Enterprise, I asked if I could join her for the fourth season. Not only do I consider it the finest single season of Trek storytelling ever made, but I wanted to finally share it with someone. Of all the Star Trek that aired from 1987 to 2005, Enterprise was the least-viewed. There aren't many people I can talk to about the events of that season, and I never watched any of its fourth season with anyone. In memory of my father, I wanted to fill that gap in my Trek lore. But watching an entire season with someone is a commitment, and some people have a fear of that; our co-viewing began and ended with "Dear Doctor".

I still have Enterprise on DVD and can watch it anytime — but I won't anytime soon. Until then, I am happy to share The Next Generation with my mom and now Discovery with my Transporter Lock co-host Sabriel. Because that's the way families work: sometimes they shrink, and sometimes you don't get what you want, but there'll always be someone there who loves you and celebrates with you, whatever the generation.

It's Christmas Eve, and like many people, I'm spending it with family. And my family? They're spending it with Star Trek.

I have my father to thank for getting me into Star Trek. As a kid, I was a huge nerd: while the other kids were playing baseball and street hockey, I was playing Super Mario Bros. and Dungeons & Dragons. It didn't exactly make me popular, which was hard. It would've helped if my dad had signed me up for karate lessons or Boy Scouts, like all the other kids. Instead, on Monday, September 28, 1987, he sat me down to watch a new television show. It was the sequel to a show he'd watched when he was younger, and he thought we'd enjoy the new one together.

That was the first time I saw Star Trek.

Wow! I'd read fantasy novels, but this was my first exposure to science fiction. It not only expanded my imagination, but it taught me so much. Captain Picard taught me that the way to resolve differences isn't by firing phasers, but through diplomacy. And the android character, Data, taught me that you could be smart and have no social skills and still be a valued member of a team — something I'd never experienced before.

Star Trek was a huge influence, not only on me, but on my relationship with my dad. We watched Star Trek together every week for 18 years. Mom never watched it with us — she was usually doing laundry, and when you have four sons, there's ALWAYS laundry. Star Trek was something unique that Dad and I shared.

In the Star Trek community, April 5 is considered a holiday: First Contact Day. It's on April 5, 2063 — just 46 years from now — that humanity makes first contact with an alien species, when the Vulcan science vessel the T'Plana-Hath detects the warp signature of Zefram Cochrane's test flight of the Phoenix and traces it back to Bozeman, Montana. So, on April 5, 2016, I made the traditional meal of pierogis — Zefram Cochrane's favorite food — and watched the movie Star Trek: First Contact.

Even though the movie has a happy ending, and I'd seen it a dozen times before, this time, when I got to the end, I cried. Inconsolably, I cried — because a month earlier, Dad had passed away… just six months shy of his fiftieth wedding anniversary, and five months before Star Trek Beyond.

When Dad died, I wrote the obituary, I gave the eulogy, and I put together the slideshow that played at the funeral reception. I set it to the orchestral suite from The Next Generation episode "The Inner Light". When Mom heard it, she asked me what that beautiful music was; I said I'd tell her later.

I'd coincidentally ordered the complete The Next Generation series on DVD just before Dad died, and it arrived the day after his funeral. I started spending one night a week at Mom's to keep her company. One night, I said, "Let's watch some TV." I popped in "The Inner Light", and we watched it together. When it was done, I turned to her, tears in my eyes, and she said, "That was great." I was glad she'd enjoyed it; my job was done.

But what happened next, I couldn't've predicted, not in a million light years.

Mom asked, "Do you have any more?"

Yes — I have all seven seasons!!

She said, "Well, if you're going to keep spending one night a week here, let's watch another episode every week."

I could not have been more stunned if she'd shot me with a Romulan disruptor.

I drew up a list of all 178 episodes and trimmed it down to just the ones I thought she'd like — but every now and then, I need to revise. Mom must've been paying attention when Dad and I watched the show 25 years ago, because one night, as I was preparing the next episode, she asked, "Does this one have the Borg?"

The cybernetic organisms that are Captain Picard's greatest foe?! No, I wasn't planning on showing you those, Mom… Do you want to watch them? "Sure!" For every episode we watch, Mom expresses interest in watching two more. She even joined me that summer to see Star Trek Beyond — the movie that Dad never got to see.

I love watching this show with Mom. Sometimes, I glance over at her to make sure she hasn't fallen asleep. And she never has — she's really enjoying this! And she confessed that sometimes she looks over at me. Even if we've made popcorn or some other snack, she sees mine going untouched as I stare raptly at the TV, completely entranced — like I'm a little kid, watching Star Trek for the first time with my dad.

Star Trek has become something unique that Mom and I share — something that none of my brothers have. And it's also a way to keep my Dad's memory alive. When Dad died, I thought I'd lost my Star Trek buddy. I never imagined that my mom would step in to fill that void.

My father has always been and always shall be my friend: he's the one who flew me to the stars. But when our ship lost its captain, it was Mom who took the helm and kept us flying true.

Merry Christmas, everybody.

Today marks the fiftieth anniversary of the debut of Star Trek, when "The Man Trap", premiered. CBS and Paramount are celebrating the occasion with the release of Star Trek — 50th Anniversary TV and Movie Collection, a set that includes all of the original crew's television, cinematic, and animated adventures, including the first time The Animated Series (TAS) has appeared on Blu Ray.

I already have all the movies on Blu Ray and TAS on standard DVD, so I went with the less expensive and redundant option of purchasing just TOS on Blu Ray in the "Epik Pack", released just this past June. It's not the first Star Trek box set I've added to my library this year: This past April, I purchased Star Trek: The Next Generation's Blu Ray box set. But in the space between buying and watching the TNG set, I unboxed it.

Unboxing is a strange, voyeuristic genre of YouTube video that I don't entirely understand the appeal of — but for my first unboxing of a DVD, I was happy to go all-out, green-screening myself onto the bridge of the Enterprise NCC-1701D while wearing loose-fitting Starfleet pajamas, courtesy Showbits contributor GeneD.

I couldn't unbox TNG and not TOS, so here is my less special effects-laden opening of that set:

I bought this set in time for the release of Star Trek Beyond, which my mom wanted to see in theaters, despite not being familiar with the TOS characters. As quickly as I could, I brought her up to speed with viewings of just two episodes: "Journey to Babel", which introduced Spock's father Sarek; and "The Trouble With Tribbles", which is not only a fun episode but also one that will later tie into Deep Space Nine, should we ever get that far.

Given time, I would've shown her even more TOS episodes — "Space Seed", "Mirror, Mirror", "City on the Edge of Forever" — as well as some of the movies — The Wrath of Khan; The Search fo Spock, The Voyage Home. But time between this box set's release and Star Trek Beyond's was short, so I added only Star Trek (2009) to our viewing schedule.

The Original Series is unique in being the only live-action Star Trek I've not seen every episode of. For example, I'd never seen "Journey to Babel" and was impressed how much of Spock's lore I recognized from the 2009 movie — I didn't realize just how respectful the scriptwriters and director were to the source material. My mom prefers TNG, but it was fun to watch some TOS with her, especially since TNG can't give us the experience of both of us seeing something for the first time.

Still, now that we have this set in hand (and unboxed!), perhaps we'll sneak in some classic episodes every now and then — especially so as to better familiarize ourselves with the era of Star Trek Discovery.